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[Scene: On the betch. A KQSF Betch Bash is takin' place. Smash Mouth is perfo'min' on a stage. A large crowd of varmints in swimwears are dancin' along, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! Th' song inds an' ev'ryone cheers. Phoebe an' Chad th' DJ, is sittin' unner a kinvas shade shelter holdin' microphones.]

Chad: Give it up fo' Smash Mouth! Fry mah hide! Less hyar it, come on! Fry mah hide! Hangin' Chad a-comin' back live at th' KQSF annual Betch Bash. Windin' it up wif our special guest, th' stunnin'ly, right purdy, Phoebe Hallifine, th' Ask Phoebe fame. Okay, so whut's yer deal? Are yo' psychic, is thet it?

Phoebe: ah's so'ry?

Chad: I mean, yo' gotta be doesn't yo'? Yer column has sky rocketed, all th' critics rave about how amazin'ly insightful yer advice is. How else does yo' explain it?

Phoebe: I jest reckon ah read varmints pow'ful fine.

Chad: Oh, yo' does, does yo'? Kin yo' read me?

(Th' crowd cheers.)

Phoebe: I doesn't know, write a letter an' we'll see.

Chad: Come on, give it a shot.

Crowd: Yeah! Fry mah hide!

Chad: Yo' guys wanna see her does it, dontcha?

Crowd: Yeah! Fry mah hide! (They applaud, cuss it all t' tarnation.)

Phoebe: Oh, alright, alright. Ah, whut does yer hankerin' advice on?

Chad: Okay, less see. Thar's this hyar woomin thet ah like an' I'd like t'ax her out but ah's afraid she'll say no. Whut in tarnation sh'd ah do?

(Phoebe looks at Chad an' reckons.)

Phoebe: Wal, whuffo' doesn't yo' jest ax me an' find out?

(Phoebe laughs. Th' crowd applauses.)

[Scene: Mano'. Attic. Jed is stan'in' back fum th' Book of Shadows' stan'. He is chewin' on a pen as he flips th' pages wif tellykinetic powers. He stops at a page thet reads Trok Demon an' walks closer to th' Book of Shadows. He takes th' pen outta his mouth an' writes sumpin down on a notepad, cuss it all t' tarnation. Suddenly, a po'tal opens up in th' attic an' Mist, a Valkyrie walks outta it.]

Jed: Hey, are yo' outcher mind? Whut in tarnation is yo' doin' hyar?

Mist: Freyja sent me. She be hankerin' t'knows whut's takin' so long, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!

Jed: Freyja? Yo' know, fo' a mahthical chareecker she sho'nuff does wo'ry a lot.

Mist: She's not th' only one who's wo'ried, cuss it all t' tarnation. He's an Elder, Jed. How much longer does yo' pow'ful speck us t'keep him?

Jed: Don't tell me he's complainin'.

Mist: Yessuh, a lot, acshully.

Jed: I doesn't believe it. Banish th' guy t'an islan' filled wif right purdy wimmen an' he still complains. ah cain't win, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Mist: How much longer?

Jed: Until ah's ready. Look, ah's so'ry but ah ain't finished whut ah came har t'do yet. An' ah need Leo outta th' way until ah can, as enny fool kin plainly see. Mo'e impo'tantly, th' sisters kin't find him befo'e ah's ready o' else...

Mist: I know. We all unnerstan' th' risks.

Jed: I'd nevah hurt yo', Mist. (He moves closer t'her.) Yo' knows thet.

Mist: Yo' w'd eff'n yo' had to. ah knows thet too.

Piper: (fum downstairs) Jed, is yo' up thar?

Jed: Yo' better go.

(They kiss.)

Mist: Please... (th' po'tal opens) Helter-skelter.

(Mist walks into th' po'tal an' it closes. Piper walks in carryin' a baxet of laundry.)

Piper: Hey, do yo' haf enny laundry?

Jed: Ahh... (He seems distracked, cuss it all t' tarnation.) No. No. ah's fine, thanks. ah's gonna git yer sisters though. Yo' haf t'other demon t'vanquish.

Piper: Okey-dokey.

(She leaves the room, dawgone it.)

[Scene: On the betch. Chad is pourin' some a six pack into a cup at th' refreshment table. Phoebe walks up t'him, dawgone it.]

Phoebe: Howdy-doo. ah's so'ry eff'n ah embarrassed yo' back thar.

Chad: Hey, ah's jest glad it was only on th' radio.

Phoebe: I doesn't knows whuffo' ah answered like thet. It was...

Chad: Daid on, thass whut it was. It's exackly whut ah was feelin'. Nervous about axin' yo' out.

Phoebe: Really? Yo' were? Wal, then mebbe ah sh'd ax yo' out an' jest take the pressure off. Oh! Fry mah hide! (laughs) ah jest doesn't knows whut's th' matter wif me. It's gotta be th' heat o' sumpin.

(Jed o'bs in behind a van near by.)

Chad: Bayview Cafe, say 1:00?

Phoebe: I'll be thar.

(Jed comes out fum behind th' van an' walks towards Phoebe.)

Jed: Phoebe.

Phoebe: Jed, whut is yo' doin' hyar?

Chad: Um, lissen, ah gotta git back. Shet mah mouth! Don't be late.

Phoebe: I won't be.

(Chad walks away. Phoebe raises her eyebrows at Jed.)

Jed: Trok Demon, remember?

Phoebe: Oh, Jed, git a life.

Jed: Come on, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Phoebe: Uff.

[Scene: Neighbourhood, cuss it all t' tarnation. Paige is runnin' down th' sidewalk holdin' onto five houn'dog leads. She is havin' trouble corntrollin' th' houn'dogs.]

Paige: Stop! Fry mah hide! Stop! Fry mah hide! Please? (She lets hoof it of th' leads an' th' houn'dogs helter-skelter down the sidewalk. Shet mah mouth!) Sit! Fry mah hide! Heal! Fry mah hide! (She looks aroun' an' then o'bs out. She o'bs back in in front of th' houn'dogs.) Stop! Fry mah hide! (Th' houn'dogs stop.) I gotta git a real job. Well bust mah britches an' call me streaker.

(She picks up th' leads. Jed o'bs in behind her.)

Jed: Trok Demon, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Paige: Whut in tarnation now? Cain't yo' see ah's wawkin'?

(A bullhoun'dog starts hoompin' Paige's leg, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!)

[Cut t'the mano'. Phoebe's thar. Jed an' Paige o'b in wif th' five houn'dogs.]

Phoebe: Alright, can we git this hyar started on account o' ah have t'go... (She notices the houn'dogs.) Whar did they come fum?

Paige: He w'dn't let me take them back fust.

Phoebe: Back?

Paige: Yeah, ah's a... houn'dog walker. Th' temp ajuncy messed up.

Jed: Okay, do yo' guys mind? We hafta summon th' Trok Demon while he's still on our plane. Piper! Fry mah hide!

Phoebe: Oh, Jed, lighten up. Sendin' us af'er all these demons is gittin' to be a real drag, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!

Paige: Yeah, yer wawkin' us like houn'dogs.

Jed: I doesn't see Piper complainin'.

Phoebe: No, on account o' Piper don't complain about ennythin' ennymo'e. Evah on account o' Leo lef' t'become an Elder, all she does is walk aroun' the house all, ah reckon... chipper.

Jed: So?

Paige: So, it's unusual, ah reckon. Whut in tarnation's wo'se, it's not Piper.

(Piper walks down th' stairs carryin' Wyatt. She's on th' phone.)

Piper: I'd love t'have a play date. Mebbe we c'd call Daisyy an' she kin brin' baby Josie. An' then I'll brin' th' a six pack an' mebbe bake some muffins an'... (She sees th' houn'dogs.) Aww, how cute!

(She walks into th' kitchen, as enny fool kin plainly see.)

Phoebe: She's gittin' wo'se.

Paige: Definitely.

Phoebe: (to Jed) Do yo' haf a spell?

Jed: Right outta th' book. Shet mah mouth! (He han's her a piece of paper.) Af'er yo' summon him, make sho'nuff Piper freezes him, dawgone it. Otherwise yo'll nevah git th' spell off.

Paige: Here, take these guys t'th' attic, they'll be fine thar.

Jed: Wait, me?

Paige: Yeah, yo'. Go.

(She han's Jed th' leads an' th' houn'dogs pull him upstairs. Piper walks in all cheery. She's warin' an apron, as enny fool kin plainly see.)

Piper: Alrighty, are we ready?

Paige: Alrighty.

Piper: Phoebe, have ah told yo' how much ah love yer noo 'do. It's fabulous.

Phoebe: Mighty chipper. Okay, less does this. Yo' take this. (Phoebe han's Paige th' spell, ah reckon. Piper grins. Phoebe closes her eyes an' corncentrates. Suddenly, a two-haided demon wif one eye on etch haid appears.) Piper, freeze him, dawgone it. (Piper blows off one of his haids. He whimpers. Piper giggles.) Whut in tarnation did yo' does thet fo'?

Piper: I doesn't know, ah didn't mean to.

(Th' Trok Demon roars an' sends th' gals flyin' acrost th' room, dawgone it. They lan' on th' flore. Phoebe grabs th' spell, ah reckon.)

Phoebe: "Fum other wo'lds far an' near, less git him th' Trok, outta har." (Th' Trok Demon busts into flames an' is vanquished, cuss it all t' tarnation. Piper smiles.) Is ev'rybody okay?

Piper: Yeah, thet was awesome.

(Phoebe rolls her eyes.)

Openin' Credits

[Scene: Mano'. Livin' room, dawgone it. Paige walks in wif her han' aginst her sh'der. Jed follers her in, as enny fool kin plainly see.]

Paige: Whut in tarnation kind of Whitelighter kin't heal?

Jed: Fo' th' reco'd, yo' kin't heal eifer.

Paige: ah's ha'f-whitelighter. How come yo' didn't tell us about this befo'e we hired yo'?

Jed: On account o' yo' didn't hire me. ah was assigned by the Elders.

(Phoebe walks in carryin' a tube of cream, dawgone it.)

Phoebe: Enny other li'l surprises yo''d like th' share wif us?

Jed: No. (Phoebe sits down beside Paige.) Look, ah ain't been a Whitelighter mighty long, okay? An' healin', it's trimenjus, an' takes a li'l while t'larn how t'do.

(Phoebe dabs some cream on Paige's sh'der.)

Phoebe: Great. Student-lighter.

Paige: Okay, yo' c'd've told us about this hyar like, ah doesn't know, mebbe a month ago.

Phoebe: Wal, ah knows one thin' fo' sho'nuff, we is gonna stop all this demon fightin' fo' a spell.

Jed: Wait, whuffo'?

Piper's Voice: Kin somebody please fold th' towels in th' dryer when it's done?

Phoebe: Thet's whuffo'.

(Piper walks in carryin' Wyatt an' her purse.)

Piper: ah put a casserole in th' oven, yo' kin check it in about an hour o' so. ah will be at th' club eff'n yo' need me. Have fun! Fry mah hide!

(Piper leaves.)

Phoebe: Oh mah god, she is so sad, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Paige: Sad? Whar is yo' gittin' sad fum?

Jed: Howsabout this. Three mo'e demons, then we kin talk about takin' a li'l bust.

Paige: Whut in tarnation, does yo' haf a quota o' sumpin?

Jed: Look, I've already told yo' this hyar befo'e. ah knows fum future smarts thet a demon is gonna come af'er Wyatt. These are all pre-empped strikes.

Phoebe: Okay, look, Jed, we like yo' a lot. But we haf been doin' this hyar a lot longer than yo' have. Trest me, yo' hafta pace yo'seff an' yo' gotta less haf a life. (She looks at her watch.) Ooh, speakin' of which, ah have t'go git ready fo' mah lunch date.

(She stan's up.)

Paige: Oh, ah didn't knows yer bost was back in town, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Phoebe: No, it's not wif Jason, it's wif Chad, th' DJ, who ah's not pow'ful interested in, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Jed: Two demons, howsabout thet? Two.

Phoebe: No, Jed. An' especially not until we figger out whut's wrong wif Piper, an' mo'e impo'tantly Piper's powers.

Paige: ah swar, ah reckon Leo did sumpin t'her befo'e he lef'.

Phoebe: Yo' knows whut? ah reckon it's about time we o'b him down har an' ax him, dawgone it.

Jed: ah doesn't reckon thass postible.

Phoebe: Wal, then make it postible. Look, even eff'n he don't care about Piper as his wife, as an Elder he at th' mighty least sh'd care about whut happened t'her powers.

Jed: ah cain't.

Paige: Yeah, yo' kin. Yo' jest hoof it up thar an' tell him t'git his booty down hyar.

Jed: Thet's not whuffo' ah cain't. Look, ah didn't wanna tell yo' this on account o' ah didn't be hankerin' t'wo'ry yo' two but... Leo's missin'.

Phoebe: Whut in tarnation?

Paige: Missin'? How long?

Jed: On account o' th' last time yo' sar him, dawgone it. Ennyway, th' Elders reckon he's been kidnapped, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Phoebe: By whom?

[Scene: A war zone. A helicopper flies past. Soldiers pull woun'ed men onto a jeep. It drives away. One soldier runs towards a burnin' jeep an' gits shot multiple times. He falls t'th' groun'. He lif's his haid t'see a po'tal open up in front of him, dawgone it. Mist walks outta th' po'tal, ah reckon.]

Soldier: Whut in tarnation the...

Mist: Shhh. It's alright. Yo' doesn't hafta be afraid, cuss it all t' tarnation. Yer one of th' chosen few. (Th' soldier dies an' his spirit rises out of his hide. Th' spirit stan's up an' looks at hisse'f, confoozed, cuss it all t' tarnation.) Don't wo'ry, ah promise yo'll unnerstan' soon inough.

(She removes th' lid off a small bottle an' th' spirit is sucked into it. She puts th' lid back on an' steps back into th' po'tal, ah reckon.)

Commercial Bust

[Scene: P3. Thar is toddlers thar playin' wif toys. Piper walks on over to th' bar wif Darryl an' Sheila follerin' her.]

Sheila: Yer amazin', Piper.

Piper: So'ry?

Sheila: ah mean, seriously, ah doesn't knows how yo' does it. ah mean, I c'd barely take care of mahse'f when li'l Darryl was a baby, let alone helter-skelter a day care.

Piper: Wal, yo' know, nobody was usin' th' club durin' th' day ennyway an' ah was runnin' outta room at home wif all of Wyatt's play dates.

Sheila: Wal, ah reckon it's great, pow'ful. ah mean, especially wif ev'rythin' yer gwine through.

(Darryl an' Sheila look at etch other.)

Piper: Whut in tarnation?

Darryl: Sheila's jest been a li'l corncerned about yo' lately. Yo' know, wif Leo an' all, ah reckon.

Sheila: ah cain't even imagine how hard it muss be fo' yo'. Do yo' evah even talk t'him?

Piper: Oh, no, it's probably aginst th' rules. But, yo' know, no use cryin' on over spilt milk, an' besides, yo' know, I've jest gotta push ahaid fo' Wyatt. Wal, better git these treats t'the li'l ones. (She picks up a tray of snacks.) Um, is Darryl junio' stayin' late?

Darryl: Yeah.

Sheila: Uh, yeah, yeah.

Piper: Super. (Piper walks on over t'th' toddlers.) Hey, guys.

Darryl: ah gotta git back t'th' stashun.

(Phoebe an' Paige walk in, as enny fool kin plainly see.)

Phoebe: Howdy-doo, guys.

Sheila: Hey.

Darryl: Howdy-doo.

(Phoebe looks at Sheila.)

Phoebe: Whoa. Whut in tarnation's th' matter?

Sheila: So'ry?

Phoebe: Sumpin's botherin' yo', ah can tell, ah reckon.

Paige: Phoebe?

Phoebe: Whut in tarnation? Oh, so'ry.

Darryl: So, Piper's doin' fine, huh?

Phoebe: Yeah, but yo' doesn't reckon she is.

Paige: Don't mind her she's jest bein' a li'l annoyin'. Um, w'd yo' excuse us fo' a second?

Sheila: Yeah, sho'nuff.

Darryl: Yeah.

Sheila: See yo' later.

(Darryl an' Sheila leave.)

Paige: Whut in tarnation is gwine on wif yo'?

Phoebe: ah doesn't know, it's weird, cuss it all t' tarnation. Lately I've jest been feelin' a lot of weird vibes, ah doesn't knows whut it is.

Paige: Vibes? Check it out, ah can pow'ful, pow'ful only deal wif one whacked out sister at a time.

Phoebe: Huh, got it.

Paige: Piper? (They walk on over t'Piper.) Piper, yo' got a minute?

Piper: Uh, kin't it wait?

Phoebe: No, acshully, it kin't. It's about Leo.

Piper: Oh, did he call?

Paige: Not exackly.

Phoebe: Thar's no easy way t'bust this hyar to yo' so ah's jest a-gonna come out an' say it. Leo's missin'. We jest foun' out thet th' Elders ain't heard fum him on account o' he lef' us t'join them, dawgone it.

Piper: Wow.

Phoebe: So did he happen t'say ennythin' t'yo' th' last time yo' sar him thet c'd potentially he'p?

Piper: No. All ah remember him sayin' is thet he was leavin' to become an Elder an' ah wished him fine luck. Shet mah mouth!

Phoebe: Thet's it? Thet was yer trimenjus goo'bye?

Piper: Yeah, as far as ah can remember. But ah w'dn't wo'ry about it too much, he'll turn up sooner o' later. Excuse me.

(Piper turns back t'th' babies.)

Paige: So much fo' thet shockin' her back into reality, huh?

Phoebe: Unfo'tunately, ah reckon only Leo kin does thet.

[Scene: An islan' in th' middle of th' Indian Ocean, as enny fool kin plainly see. A right purdy rainfo'est. Mist walks down a path into a clearin'. Men is thar trainin' t'fight. Some is makin' weapons. Mist walks past a Valkyrie Trainer.]

Valkyrie Trainer: Greetin's, Mist. (One of th' men trainin' flips in mid-air. He falls on his butt. Th' Valkyrie Trainer he'ps him up.) Yo' unner rotated, cuss it all t' tarnation. Now watch.

(She flips in mid-air an' lan's on her feet.)

[Cut to Mist. She is walkin' through th' rainfo'est. Two other Valkyries, Freyja an' Karee wan'er outta th' shrubs. Freyja, th' haid Valkyrie, kisses Mist on etch cheek. Shet mah mouth!]

Freyja: Yo' were gone a spell, Mist. ah was beginnin' t'wo'ry.

Mist: ah wanted yo' t'be pleased, cuss it all t' tarnation.

(Mist opens th' small bottle a releases th' soldiers spirit.)

Karee: Cute. But kin he fight?

Mist: Like no other.

Freyja: We'll see.

Soldier: Am ah in hevvin?

Freyja: Warrio' hevvin. Until ah see how fine yo' hoof it aginst our champion, ennyway.

(She blows on th' soldier an' he becomes co'po'eal, ah reckon.)

[Cut to a cave. A large cage is thar. Th' soldier is thrown into it. A Valkyrie waves her han' an' it locks. Six Valkyries includin' Freyja an' Mist set acrost th' room, watchin'.]

Soldier: Whut in tarnation does yer hankerin' fum me?

Freyja: We're hankerin' yo' t'fight.

(A man warin' leather armo', a metal helmet an' wieldin' a swo'd an' shield walks into th' cage. He kicks up a shield an' the soldier ketches it. Th' two min fight. Th' man slashes the soldier acrost his stomach an' he falls t'th' groun'.)

Freyja: He fought fine inough. Heal him, git him into trainin'.

(They all stan' up. One Valkyrie opens th' cage an' grabs th' soldier.)

Valkyrie: Come.

Man: Whut in tarnation about me?

(The man tears off his helmet. It's Leo.)

Leo: ah doesn't belong hyar an' yo' knows it! Fry mah hide!

Freyja: No? Yer an Elder isn't yo'? Yo' haf much t'larn mah warrio's.

(Leo looks aroun' at th' cage.)

Commercial Bust

[Scene: Mano'. Conservato'y. Jed is lookin' out th' window. Paige is scryin' fo' Leo on three maps - a map of San Francisco, the wo'ld, an' th' solar system, dawgone it. Phoebe walks in, as enny fool kin plainly see.]

Phoebe: Whar exackly is yo' tryin' t'find Leo? Jupiter?

Paige: Wal, when an Elder gits kidnapped, they're probably not gonna jest take him t'Chinatown, right? ah reckon ev'rythin' is game, even th' cosmos.

Phoebe: Still, ah doesn't see how th' crystal's gonna find him, dawgone it. Especially not wifout sumpin of his t'focus it better.

(Paige picks up one of Leo's shirts.)

Paige: I've got one of his plaid shirts.

Phoebe: ah was reckonin' sumpin a li'l mo'e special than thet.

Paige: Leo loved them shirts. His intire closet's full of them, dawgone it.

(Phoebe suddenly turns t'Jed.)

Phoebe: Whut in tarnation's yer problem?

(He looks aroun'.)

Jed: Huh?

Phoebe: Yer nervous, ah can feel it.

Paige: Hm, watch yer vibes.

(Phoebe walks on over t'Jed.)

Jed: ah jest reckon yo' guys sh'd be focusin' on he'pin' Piper, not Leo.

Phoebe: Ha, ah was right.

Paige: Hey, findin' Leo c'd he'p us wif Piper.

Jed: Wal, then yo' better find t'other way on account o' yer not gonna find him, dawgone it. (Thar's silence.) ah mean, yo' ain't foun' him yet haf yo'? ah's tellyng yo', yo've jest gotta leave it up to th' Elders, alright? Jest let it go.

Paige: Let it go? He's Wyatt's Pappy.

Phoebe: An' our brother-in-law.

Jed: Ex-brother-in-law. Look, ah's jest tryin' t'git yo' two to focus on yer sister hyar. Thet's all, ah reckon. On account o' wif her powers messed up, yo' guys is all at risk. Shet mah mouth!

Paige: He's right.

Phoebe: ah know. But eff'n Leo did does sumpin t'block Piper's pain, how does we unblock it wifout him?

(Paige gits an idea.)

Paige: A magical laxative.

Phoebe: Okay, eww.

Paige: But reckon about it. Eff'n we kin write a spell t'he'p her remember her pain, ah doesn't know, it c'd even he'p us find Leo. (Phoebe picks up th' phone an' dials a number.) Who is yo' callin'? Spells-R-Us?

Phoebe: No, ah's callin' th' Bayview Cafe. ah's gonna kincel mah lunch date wif Chad, which ah's already late fo'.

Voice on Phone: Bayview Cafe.

Phoebe: Howdy-doo, kin ah speak t'Chad Carson please? ah was supposed to meet him fo'...

Voice on Phone: Yessuh, he c'dn't make it.

Phoebe: Whut in tarnation?

Voice on Phone: He called an' he kincelled, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Phoebe: He kincelled?

Voice on Phone: Yessuh.

Phoebe: Wait, is yo' sho'nuff? 'Cause he didn't even call, ah reckon...

Voice on Phone: He told us t'let yo' knows thet he's mighty so'ry.

(Phoebe hangs up.)

Phoebe: Huh! Fry mah hide! He stood me up.

Jed: Wait, wasn't yo' jest callin' t'cancel on him?

Phoebe: Yeah, but ah called him, dawgone it. Thet's kincellin'. He called the restaurant. Thet's stan'in' up.

(Paige nods in agreement.)

Jed: Oh.

Phoebe: This hyar don't make enny sense, ah doesn't unnerstan'. He liked me, he pow'ful liked me, ah felt it.

Paige: Wal, um, excuse me, it didn't seem like yer heart was in it ennyway. (Phoebe puts down th' phone an' haids fo' the dore.) Whar is yo' gwine? We haf a spell t'write.

Phoebe: An' ah have a DJ t'grill, ah reckon.

[Scene: On th' betch. KQSF Betch Bash. A man is cookin' sausages on a barbeque. He places a sausage on Chad's hot houn'dog bun, as enny fool kin plainly see.]

Cook: Here yo' go, Chad, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Chad: Thanks, Billy Joe.

(Phoebe walks up t'Chad, cuss it all t' tarnation.)

Phoebe: Hey, ah hear they haf hothoun'dogs at th' Bayview Cafe.

Chad: Phoebe, whut is yo' doin' hyar?

Phoebe: Thet's funny, ah was about t'ax yo' th' same thin'.

Chad: Lissen, ah can explain, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Phoebe: Thet's fine, on account o' thass whuffo' ah's hyar. ah was jest hopin' yo' c'd he'p me unnerstan' sumpin thass baffled wimmen on account o' th' beginnin' of time. Whuffo' doesn't min call af'er they ax us out? An' whuffo' does they kincel at th' last minute an' even wo'se, stan' us up.

Chad: Look, ah's so'ry, but ah had sumpin pow'ful impo'tant come up.

(Phoebe gits a vibe.)

Phoebe: Is yo' intimidated by me?

Chad: Whut in tarnation?

Phoebe: On account o' yo' wasn't intimidated by me when yo' axed me out.

Chad: Hold on, yo' axed me out, remember?

Phoebe: Oh, wait, is yo' sayin' thet yo' didn't be hankerin' me though? On account o' ah knows yo' did, ah felt it.

Chad: Whoa, wait a minute.

(Phoebe gits t'other vibe.)

Phoebe: Yo' doesn't like successful wimmen.

Chad: ah gotta go.

Phoebe: Wait, is yo' tellyng me thet ev'rythin' I've wawked so hard fo' in mah life, ev'rythin' I've fought t'achieve makes me less attrackive t'men? On account o' eff'n thass whut yer sayin' I jest... (A li'l gal falls off her bike near by an' scraps her knee. She starts t'cry. Her Mammy tries t'calm her.) Jest hurts. It hurts so much.

Li'l Gal: It hurts so much, mummah! Fry mah hide!

Chad: Don't yo' reckon yer on overreackin' jest a li'l?

Phoebe: No ah doesn't! Fry mah hide! (She calms down, as enny fool kin plainly see.) Acshully, yeah, ah do.

Li'l Gal: It hurts so much, mummah! Fry mah hide!

(Phoebe looks at th' li'l gal an' realises sumpin.)

[Scene: Mano'. Attic. Paige is on th' phone. Th' bullhoun'dog starts hoompin' her leg, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!]

Paige: Suh, whut does it matter when ah brin' th' houn'dogs home? Their ownys isn't thar, thass whuffo' ah got th' job in th' fust place. (to th' bullhoun'dog) Whuffo' doesn't yo' hoof it hoomp a houn'dog. Ju evah reckon of thet? (on th' phone) No, notcha, suh. (T'other houn'dogs tear up th' attic, pullin' thin's apart an' jumpin' on tables.) Look, yo' know, when ah came t'th' ajuncy, ah pow'ful went wif the idea thet ah w'd be he'pin', yo' know, varmints, not animals. An' whut ah pow'ful mean t'say is thet it's, suh, it is time fo' me to strike out on mah own, as enny fool kin plainly see. Yeah, I'll haf th' houn'dogs back in an hour.

(She hangs up.)

Jed: (fum downstairs) Piper's home!

Paige: Comin'! Fry mah hide!

[Cut to downstairs. Jed is carryin' a baby in a bassinet. Paige comes down the stairs.]

Paige: Hey, who's thet?

Jed: Ask her.

(Jed walks into th' conservato'y. Piper walks into th' hallway.)

Piper: Howdy-doo, how's it gwine?

Paige: How's it gwine? Uh, whut is yo' doin'? (Piper picks up t'other baby in a bassinet.) Who's babies is these?

Piper: Wal, their mummies c'dn't pick them up in time so I offered t'brin' them home fo' a spell.

Paige: Oh, yo' did? Um, whut about, yo' know, Leo?

Piper: ah doesn't know, whut about him? (They walk into the conservato'y whar Wyatt an' t'other baby is in a playpen, as enny fool kin plainly see.) Look, Wyatt, look who's hyar. T'other friend fo' yo' t'play wif.

(Jed notices Paige holdin' onto a piece of paper.)

Jed: Is thet th' memo'y spell?

Paige: Yeah.

(Piper puts th' second baby in th' playpen, as enny fool kin plainly see.)

Piper: An' she kin stay as long as she likes.

Jed: Cast it.

Paige: "Powers an' emoshuns tide, a witch's heart is whar it hides, he'p her through her agony, bless her wif her memo'y." (A white mist rises outta Piper. She stan's up.) Piper? Is yo' okay?

(She turns aroun'.)

Piper: ah's so'ry, does ah knows yo'?

(Paige laughs.)

Paige: Mighty funny.

(Piper looks at Wyatt.)

Piper: Aww, cute. Yourn?

Paige: No, yourn.

Piper: Mine? Whut in tarnation does yo' mean? Wait, who is I? Whut in tarnation is ah doin' har?

Jed: Great, Paige, yo' didn't resto'e her memo'y, yo' erased it.

Paige: Thet's impostible, it's a fine spell, ah knows it. Unless it interacked badly wif Leo's magic.

(A fly buzzes aroun' Piper an' she waves her arm aroun'. She accidentally blows up a window. She gasps an' th' babies cry.)

Piper: Whut in tarnation happened? How did thet happen?

Paige: Uh, it's okay, yer gonna be okay.

Jed: Jest doesn't point at ennythin', okay? Jest keep yer han's down, as enny fool kin plainly see. Like this, okay?

Piper: Kin somebody please tell me whut's gwine on, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Paige: We is gonna tell yo' thet. Jest as soon as we know ourselves. (Paige takes Piper into th' livin' room, dawgone it.) Okay, yo' come in hyar an' yo' haf a seat an', uh, take a load off. An', um, keep them arms down, as enny fool kin plainly see. (She walks back into th' conservato'y.) Oh mah fineness. Okay, doesn't freak out on account o' magic got us into this an' magic'll git us out. (Wyatt cries loudly. Paige looks ovah at him, dawgone it. Suddenly, th' baby's pacifier o'bs outta her mouth an' o'bs into Wyatt's mouth.) Ju see thet?

Jed: See whut?

Paige: Wyatt. He o'bed his pacifier.

Jed: Whut in tarnation?

Paige: ah reckon ah knows how t'find Leo.

Jed: Leo? Will yo' please fo'git about Leo.

Commercial Bust

[Scene: Mano'. Livin' room, dawgone it. Piper is thar. Phoebe rushes in all excited, cuss it all t' tarnation. Piper jumps up.]

Phoebe: Piper! Fry mah hide! Hi! Fry mah hide! Yer nevah gonna believe this. ah reckon I have a noo power. It'd sartinly explain a lot of mah weird behaviour lately like whuffo' ah wanted t'date Chad, whuffo' mah advice has been so amazin'ly accurate. ah know, this hyar is huge, right? Huge. So whut's mah noo power yo' ax? Wal, I'll tell yo'. Um, do yo' remember thet empath we he'ped a couple of years ago? Thet guy thet c'd feel whut other varmints were feelin'?

(Jed walks in, as enny fool kin plainly see.)

Jed: Uh, Phoebe...

Phoebe: Jest a sec. ah reckon thass whut ah's now. An empath. I am an empath. Thet's mah noo power. Or at least an advancement of mah premonishun power, ah doesn't know.

Jed: Neifer does she, ah's afraid, cuss it all t' tarnation. No thet is, ennythin'. Paige erased her memo'y.

Piper: Kin yo' blow thin's up to?

(Phoebe laughs.)

Phoebe: Oh, fella. Paige! (She an' Jed hoof it into th' conservato'y whar Paige is holdin' onto Wyatt while scryin'.) Whut in tarnation did yo' do to our sister? Oh, yo' pore dear. Yo' feel awful about it, doesn't yo'? ah's so so'ry.

Paige: Thanks, ah reckon.

Jed: Thet's it? Thet's all th' ass kickin' yer gonna go out? Yer supposed t'be sisters.

Phoebe: She's clearly devastated about this.

Jed: But yo' kin't let her off th' hook. Shet mah mouth! Yo' need inough guilt t'git her t'fix it.

(The crystal points t'th' Indian Ocean on th' map.)

Paige: ah reckon ah jest fixed it. ah reckon we jest foun' Leo.

Phoebe: We?

(Paige stan's up.)

Paige: Yep, Wyatt an' me. ah mean, nothin''s mo'e impo'tant to Leo than him, right? (She puts Wyatt back in th' playpen, as enny fool kin plainly see.) Thar yo' go, trimenjus fella. Less go.

Jed: Go? Git whar? It's pointin' t'th' middle of th' Indian Ocean, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Paige: Thar muss be sumpin thar, ah trest Wyatt.

Jed: No, this hyar is crazy.

Phoebe: Jed, she's feelin' pow'ful strongly about this. (Phoebe stan's beside Paige an' Paige puts her arm aroun' her.) ah have a noo power. I'll explain on th' way.

Paige: (to Jed) Oh, hey, kin yo' take th' houn'dogs back fo' me? Th' addresses is in th' book. Shet mah mouth!

Jed: No, thar's no way. (Paige o'bs out wif Phoebe. Jed kicks one of Wyatt's toys acrost th' room, dawgone it. Wyatt's fo'ce field appears aroun' hisse'f.) Eff'n ennyone sh'd be proteckin' themselves, it's me fum yo'.

(Piper walks in an' looks at a cabinet. She sees her an' Leo's weddin' photo.)

[Cut to an islan' in th' middle of th' Indian Ocean, as enny fool kin plainly see. Phoebe an' Paige are walkin' down a path in th' rainfo'est.]

Paige: It's so right purdy hyar, it's like pareedise. But whuffo' ain't it on th' map?

Phoebe: They obviously doesn't be hankerin' ennyone t'knows it exists. Like th' islan' has some so't of magical camouflage o' sumpin.

Paige: Thet's a hell of a lot of magic.

Male Voice: On over thar.

(Phoebe an' Paige hide in th' bushes. Three min run down th' path, past whar Phoebe an' Paige is hidden, as enny fool kin plainly see. Once gone, Phoebe an' Paige come outta th' bushes.)

Paige: Thet was close, ah hope they're not lookin' fo' us.

[Cut to th' cave. Phoebe an' Paige walk in an' look aroun'.]

Paige: Ennythin'?

(Leo races into th' cage.)

Leo: Phoebe, Paige.

Phoebe: Leo! Fry mah hide! Oh mah god, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Paige: ah cain't believe it.

Leo: ah cain't tell yo' how fine it is t'see yo' guys. Hey, yo' lop yer hair.

Phoebe: (happily) Yeah, yeah, yo' like it?

Paige: Howdy, varmints.

Phoebe: Oh.

Paige: Whut in tarnation is yo' doin' in hyar ennyway?

Leo: Somebody put me hyar, thass whut. (Two Valkyries run in, as enny fool kin plainly see.) Watch out! Fry mah hide!

(The gals turn aroun' an' th' Valkyries flin' them acrost th' room wif tellykinetic powers. Th' Valkyries helter-skelter ovah t'them an' they start fightin'. Th' Valkyries hold Paige an' Phoebe up aginst th' wall by their necks. Leo grabs two swo'ds an' throws them at th' Valkyries, stabbin' them in th' back. Shet mah mouth! They fall t'the groun'.)

Phoebe: Oh, oh, thank yo'.

(They go back on over t'Leo.)

Paige: Wow, Leo, ah didn't knows yo' had it in yo'.

Leo: I've changed, cuss it all t' tarnation. Yo' need t'git outta hyar befo'e the other Valkyries find yo'. Eff'n yo' o'bed in hyar, they've already been alerted, believe me.

Phoebe: Valkyries? Who is they an' whut does they be hankerin' wif yo'?

Leo: Yo' kin't o'b out fum hyar, it's protecked, cuss it all t' tarnation. (They hear voices.) Yo' need t'git outta hyar now. Go, run! Fry mah hide!

Phoebe: We'll be back. Shet mah mouth!

(Phoebe an' Paige helter-skelter outta th' cage an' o'b out. Th' Valkyries helter-skelter in an' see th' two other Valkyries daid. They look at Leo.)

Leo: ah told yo', ah doesn't belong hyar.

Commercial Bust

[Scene: Mano'. Dinin' Room, dawgone it. Phoebe, Paige, Jed an' th' bullhoun'dog are thar. Paige is lookin' through th' Book of Shadows.]

Jed: Yo' c'd haf been killed, yo' knows thet? Huh? Whut in tarnation were yo' reckonin'?

Paige: We were reckonin' of findin' Leo, which we acshully did if thet matters t'yo'.

Phoebe: Whut in tarnation was up wif thet skirt he was warin'?

Paige: At least th' skirt warn't plaid, cuss it all t' tarnation.

(Phoebe laughs.)

Jed: ah doesn't believe this. It's like neifer of yo' guys are takin' this hyar mighty seriously. (Th' bullhoun'dog barks at Jed.) Hey, do yo' mind?

Paige: Wal, ah cain't he'p it eff'n he don't like yo'. Hey, yo' were supposed t'take him back home ennyway.

Jed: ah tried but th' ownys wasn't thar. Besides, th' houn'dog, he's not mah job, he's yourn.

Paige: ah know, doesn't remind me. (Th' houn'dog growls.) Hey, Oscar, lay down, as enny fool kin plainly see.

(Oscar walks on over an' lays down beside Paige.)

Phoebe: Aw, look, Paige, ah reckon he likes yo'.

Paige: Yeah, great, doesn't tell me yo' kin read his feelin's now too.

Phoebe: No, but eff'n ah start lickin' yer toes, run, as enny fool kin plainly see. Whar's Piper?

Jed: ah put her in her room hopin' thet it might jog her memo'y. On account o' nobody else seems t'be tryin' to.

(Paige finds th' Valkyries in th' Book of Shadows.)

Paige: Here it is. "Valkyries. A pow'ful race of demigoddesses who scout th' battle groun's fo' dyin' warrio's."

Phoebe: "Then take their souls t'Valhalla whar they prepare them fo' th' final wo'ld battle."

Paige: Valkyries, huh?

Phoebe: Does thet mean they're fine?

Paige: How kin they be fine eff'n they've got Leo?

Phoebe: An' how did they even git Leo? He's not a dyin' warrio', he's an Elder.

Jed: Look, whuffo' doesn't yo' guys corncentrate on he'pin' Piper an' ah's gonna hoof it fill in th' Elders an' see whut they wanna does.

Phoebe: But Jed, we doesn't haf time fo' thet. We hafta go back fo' Leo now.

Jed: Whuffo'? It don't soun' like he's in enny so't of trouble.

Paige: He's only stuck in a cage.

Phoebe: They tried t'kill us when we tried t'save him, dawgone it.

Jed: Mah point exackly. It's too dangerous, yer not gwine back. Shet mah mouth!

Phoebe: Wait, let me git this hyar straight. Is yo' tellyng me thet yo'd rather jest let Leo rot thar? Is thet whut yer sayin'?

Jed: No, but...

Paige: He needs our he'p.

Phoebe: Not t'menshun, he may be th' only way we hafta save Piper.

(Jed sighs.)

Jed: Yo' kin't o'b into Valhalla undetecked, cuss it all t' tarnation. Th' only way to git thar safely is wif a Valkyries pendant. But thet still won't git yo' close inough t'Leo. He's too fine guarded now.

Paige: How does yo' knows all this?

Jed: I've crosted paths wif Valkyries befo'e. In th' future. Ennyway, ah can git yo' th' pendants but th' only way t'git close to Leo is by provin' t'th' Valkyries yer one of them, dawgone it.

Phoebe: How is we supposed t'do thet?

Jed: Easy. Jest arrive wif a warrio''s soul, ah reckon.

Paige: Oh! Fry mah hide! Easy.

Phoebe: Whar is we supposed t'find a warrio''s soul?

Jed: Beats me.

(Jed o'bs out.)

[Scene: Sewer. A cop is shot. He falls t'th' groun'. Th' shooter runs out. A po'tal opens an' a Valkyrie walks outta it.]

Leysa: It's alright, yo' doesn't hafta be afraid, cuss it all t' tarnation. Yer a brave warrio'. I'll take care of yo'.

(Jed o'bs in, as enny fool kin plainly see.)

Jed: ah doesn't reckon so, Leysa. Not this hyar time.

Leysa: Whut in tarnation is yo' doin' hyar?

Jed: Mah plans haf changed unfo'tunately. Th' witches, they foun' Leo sooner than ah w'd haf liked, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Leysa: Thet's not mah problem, dawgone it. We kepp our ind of th' deal, ah reckon.

Jed: ah know. An' ah's fo'evah grateful, ah reckon. But ah cain't risk them findin' out whut ah's up to. ah's truly so'ry. (He tightens his fist an' Leysa gasps. She grabs her chess an' falls t'th' flore. Jed walks on over t'her an' takes her necklace.) Fo'gimme. (Leysa vanishes. Jed kneels beside th' woun'ed cop. He lif's his arm an' hesitates. He takes th' cop's radio.) Officer down, as enny fool kin plainly see. Eighth avenue sewer, we need an ambulance.

[Scene: Alley. Darryl leads a criminal outta buildin' into th' alley.]

Criminal: Yo' ain't got nothin' on me.

Darryl: Shet up. (He take him on over t'th' car.) Git in thar. (Phoebe an' Paige o'b in near by an' waves him on over.) Wait hyar.

Criminal: Yeah, like ah's gwine ennywhar.

(Darryl shets th' dore an' goes on over t'th' gals.)

Darryl: Is yo' outcher mind? Whut in tarnation is yo' doin' hyar?

(He leads them further down th' alley.)

Phoebe: Darryl, we need yer he'p.

Darryl: Does this hyar have ennythin' t'do wif yo' axin' Sheila to watch Wyatt? She jest called, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Phoebe: Yessuh, acshully. But we doesn't haf a lot of time. It's about Leo.

Darryl: Yo' foun' him?

Paige: Acshully, yeah, we did, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Phoebe: An' we need yer he'p t'save him, dawgone it.

Darryl: Sho'nuff, yo' knows thet, jest ax, ennythin'.

Phoebe: Great! Fry mah hide! We jest need t'bo'row yer soul fo' a couple of hours.

Paige: Yeah, we'll git it right back. Shet mah mouth!

Phoebe: It's puffickly safe, pow'ful. Yer hide will jest slip into a coma an' as long as we getcher soul back in time...

Paige: Which we will, ah reckon.

Phoebe: Yo'll be fine. Jest a li'l haidache, thass all, ah reckon. Whut in tarnation do yo' say?

(Silence.)

Darryl: Yer serious, isn't yo'?

Phoebe: Please, Darryl, it's th' only way we kin save Leo.

Darryl: No! Fry mah hide! ah ain't doin' it.

Phoebe: Darryl, please.

Darryl: No, absolutely not! Fry mah hide! Lissen, ah love Leo like a brother but yo' know, thar's a limit t'whut yo' ax me t'do.

(He turns an' walks off mumblin' t'hisse'f. Paige throws a poshun at him an' his hide drops t'th' groun', leavin' jest his soul walkin' along, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!)

Paige: Uh, Darryl?

Darryl: Whut in tarnation?

(He turns aroun'. Paige points t'his hide on th' groun'.)

Darryl: Oh. Thet's jest great.

(Phoebe opens a small bottle an' his soul gits sucked into it. She puts on th' lid, cuss it all t' tarnation.)

Phoebe: ah hope this hyar wawks.

[Cut to th' mano'. Livin' room, dawgone it. Piper an' Jed is thar. ]

Jed: Jest remember ev'rythin' ah told yo' an' yo'll be fine, okay?

(He places th' Valkyrie's necklace aroun' Piper's neck an' it glows. She turns into a Valkyrie herse'f an' is now warin' a leather skirt an' sleeveless top. Phoebe an' Paige o'b in, as enny fool kin plainly see.)

Phoebe: Okay, we got the... Oh mah god, whut did yo' does to Piper?

Jed: ah turned her into a Valkyrie. An' cornvinced her she's one too. Acshully, it warn't thet hard pow'ful, cornsiderin' the fack thet her mind is basically a blank. Shet mah mouth!

Paige: But whuffo'?

Jed: On account o' yo' might need th' power of three t'git Leo out of Valhalla an' this hyar is th' only way yo'll git her in Valhalla.

Phoebe: Wal, eff'n Piper evah gits her memo'y back, she's gonna kill yo'.

Jed: Whuffo'?

Phoebe: On account o' she hates warin' them costooms as much as we do.

Paige: Mm-hmm, dawgone it.

Jed: Yeah, fine, in thet case, yer gonna kill me too.

(He holds out two mo'e Valkyrie necklaces. Paige's eyes widen, as enny fool kin plainly see.)

[Cut to Valhalla. Rainfo'ess path. A po'tal opens an' Piper, Phoebe an' Paige walk out all warin' Valkyrie outfits.]

[Cut to th' cave. Th' Valkyries is thar. Two pull out a warrio' fum th' cage. Piper, Phoebe an' Paige walk in, as enny fool kin plainly see.]

Karee: Kin ah he'p yo'?

Phoebe: We've brought yo' a warrio'.

Karee: Warrio'?

Phoebe: Is thar a problem?

Freyja: How come ah doesn't recognise yo'?

(Piper steps fo'ward, cuss it all t' tarnation.)

Piper: Perhaps yo'll recognise this. A warrio''s spirit wo'thy of Valhalla.

(She opens th' bottle an' Darryl's spirit excapes fum it.)

Freyja: Wal done.

Commercial Bust

[Scene: Valhalla. Cave. Darryl, now co'po'eal, is thrown into th' cage, along wif a shield an' swo'd, cuss it all t' tarnation. Piper, Phoebe an' Paige are sittin' near by. A man offers them some fruit but Phoebe shakes her haid.]

Paige: Not a bad af'erlife eff'n yo' ax me.

(Darryl looks at th' gals.)

Phoebe: Yer doin' great, honey.

(Leo walks into th' cage wif th' helmet on, as enny fool kin plainly see. He sees Darryl an' looks at th' gals. Paige waves.)

Paige: Okay, ah knows how we is gonna save Leo but how is we gonna save Mo'ris?

Phoebe: ah have knows idea, thass whuffo' they call it win'in' it.

Piper: Whut in tarnation is yo' two talkin' about?

Phoebe: Nothin'.

(Leo an' Darryl walk aroun' th' cage.)

Freyja: Whut in tarnation is yo' waitin' fo'? Attack! Fry mah hide!

(Darryl attacks Leo an' knocks off his helmet.)

Piper: Leo?

Paige: Whut in tarnation is we gonna do?

Phoebe: It's Piper. Her pain is back, does sumpin.

Paige: Uh, kill him! Fry mah hide!

(Leo kicks Darryl an' he falls flat on his back. Shet mah mouth! Leo jumps on him an' they roll aroun' th' flore.)

Leo: Take th' fall, ah reckon.

Darryl: Whut in tarnation fall?

(Leo haid butts Darryl, ah reckon.)

Leo: Stay down, as enny fool kin plainly see. (Leo stan's up an' raises his arms.) Yeah! Fry mah hide!

(The Valkyries is disappointed, cuss it all t' tarnation.)

Piper: Whut in tarnation is he doin' hyar? Whut in tarnation is we doin' hyar?

Paige: Piper, shh! Fry mah hide!

(Phoebe feels her pain, as enny fool kin plainly see.)

Phoebe: Ow. Do sumpin.

(Paige stan's up.)

Paige: We jest wanted t'apologise fo' sendin' yo' sech a weak warrio'. We kin git rid of him fo' yo'.

Mist: Git rid of him?

Paige: Yeah. Yo' know, like send his spirit onto th' haraf'er o' sumpin.

Freyja: Mighty fine.

(The Valkyries hoof it their separeete ways. Piper goes up t'th' cage.)

Piper: Yo' lef' me, didn't yo'?

Phoebe: Poshun, poshun. (Paige throws a poshun at th' dore an' it opens.) We gotta git outta hyar.

(Leo he'ps Darryl up.)

[Cut to outside th' cave. Leo an' Darryl helter-skelter outside.]

Leo: It's clear! Fry mah hide!

(Phoebe, Piper an' Paige walk outside. Phoebe don't look so fine.)

Paige: I'll open th' po'tal, ah reckon.

Phoebe: Uh! Fry mah hide!

(Phoebe grabs her chest.)

Paige: Phoebe.

Phoebe: It's Piper. Her heart is bustin'.

Leo: Piper...

Piper: Don't. Stay away fum me.

Leo: ah promise ah will explain ev'rythin' when we git home but right now we need t'go.

Piper: Home? We doesn't haf a home. Yo' lef' us.

Phoebe: Leo, talk t'her! Fry mah hide!

Leo: ah didn't haf a choice. ah became an Elder, it's not sumpin thet ah wanted, it's sumpin thet jest happened, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Piper: Yessuh, see ah knows all of this. Whuffo' didn't ah remember it?

Leo: On account o' ah used mah powers so yo''dn't hafta. Yer anger almost destroyed a city, an' then yer pain almost destroyed yo'. ah wanted t'he'p yo' so yo''dn't hafta deal wif it all at once.

Piper: So yo' took mah feelin's away?

Leo: No, nevah. ah was gonna revahse th' spell slowly so yo' c'd feel a li'l mo'e ev'ry day but then somebody did t'this to me, somebody put me hyar so ah c'dn't. ah's so'ry.

Darryl: Look, ah doesn't wanna rush yo' two, but we hafta go.

Paige: ah have t'second thet.

(Piper shakes her haid an' looks at Phoebe. Th' empath inside Phoebe kicks in, as enny fool kin plainly see.)

Phoebe: Yo' bastard, cuss it all t' tarnation. How dast yo' does this t'me. To our son, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Paige: Phoebe?

Phoebe: We had a life togither, a fambly an' yo' destroyed it, yo' destroyed me. Yo' lef' me alone t'raise our son by mahse'f. How c'd yo' does this? How c'd yo' does this! (She yelled it so loudly thet th' camp near by hears.) How c'd yo'! Fry mah hide! (Phoebe punches Leo in th' face twice. She suddenly stops befo'e she kin hit him a third time. She looks at Piper.) ah doesn't feel Piper ennymo'e.

(They hear voices in th' distance.)

Paige: We hafta go.

(Paige touches her necklace an' th' po'tal opens.)

Phoebe: Come on, Piper, we've gotta go.

Piper: Go? Git whar?

Paige: Home, helter-skelter.

(The warrio's helter-skelter down th' path.)

Phoebe: We gotta leave her. Come on, as enny fool kin plainly see.

(Phoebe, Paige, Leo an' Darryl helter-skelter into th' po'tal leavin' Piper behind, cuss it all t' tarnation. Three warrio's helter-skelter in af'er them, dawgone it. Th' po'tal closes. Freyja, Mist an' Valkyrie #2 helter-skelter down th' path. They see Piper stan'in' thar.)

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