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Hindu Wedding Ceremony
Traditional Hindu wedding ceremonies can last for days and involve much ritual
in Sanskrit which may be understood only by the priest conducting the service.
This ceremony is considerably shorter and is intended to be understandable
even to a non-Indian audience, making it suitable for intercultural or mixed
Hindu/non-Hindu marriages. It is loosely based on the Gujarati Brahmin
traditions, but with a few touches from Unitarian and Christian wedding
services. It includes three spots to insert optional readings and musical
performances of your choosing.
The priest/pastor in this ceremony need not be formally trained as a Hindu
priest. He or she should be familiar with Hindu weddings and comfortable
acting as a master of ceremonies, guiding the participants through their parts
and explaining the meaning of the service to the audience.
Roles
Bride
Groom
Priest (who in this ceremony also serves as the MC)
Bride's parents
Groom's parents
Bride's maternal uncle (maamaa)
Bride's brother (or cousin or male friend)
Best man
Chorus: a few women who know how to sing traditional Indian slokas
Flower girls (optional)
Set
Hindu weddings are supposed to take place outside, on the earth, under a
canopy known as a mandap. If that's not possible, you can build a mandap
inside and pretend you're outdoors. Seating under the mandap can be on the
ground (carpets or mats would be a good idea) or on chairs.
Front and center under the mandap is the sacred fire. The fire can be small
and confined to a brazier or dish for safety.
The groom's party is supposed to arrive at the wedding spot in a procession,
so it's good to have a convenient assembly location nearby.
Props
Coconut
Garlands to be exchanged by bride and groom
Rings to be exchanged by bride and groom
Wedding necklace (mangalsutra)
Gift from groom to bride's brother
Gift from bride's mother to groom
Sacred fire
Sacred rope (varamala), tied in a loop large enough to go easily around bride
and groom
Pots of water for washing hands and feet
Kumkum or red paste applied to forehead
Rice
Flowers
Wardrobe
Traditionally, the bride wears a red or red and white sari. The sari should be
draped modestly over her hair. The groom wears a kafni (long shirt extending
to the knees) with pijamo (leggings) or dhoti (sort of an overgrown
loincloth). The groom might also wear a turban.
Of course, in an adapted ceremony like this one great liberties can be taken
with wardrobe. One rule which shouldn't be broken is that anyone who enters
the mandap or wedding canopy must have on sandals or slip-on shoes which can
be easily removed (no shoes in the mandap!). In addition, it's a good idea to
avoid much black.
One feature of the bride's wardrobe which has become popular abroad is the use
of henna or mehndi to decorate her hands and feet. It's said that you can tell
how well a new bride is being treated by her in-laws from how long it takes
for the mehndi to wear off. Mehndi treatments are increasingly available in
salons or you can get mehndi mix at any Indian grocery store for a
do-it-yourself job. (But be sure to practice on paper first! Mehndi doesn't
wash off.)
Script
1. Groom's party assembles a few minutes before scheduled ceremony time at a
convenient spot near ceremony location. (E.g., a neighbor's house or a parking
lot around the corner.) Older members of the party may go on to the ceremony
location to be seated. Groom is holding a coconut and bride's garland.
2. Groom's party walks in a procession to ceremony location. (For extra
credit, groom rides on a horse or better yet an elephant!) Groom is received
by bride's mother who applies kumkum to his forehead. Groom bows to bride's
mother and gives her coconut.
3. Bride's parents escort groom and best man to the mandap. Groom's party is
seated nearby.
4. After groom is in position in the mandap, bride comes out carrying groom's
garland, escorted by maternal uncle, optionally preceded by flower girls.
5. Priest says:
We have come together to wed (bride), daughter of (bride's parents), to
(groom), son of (groom's parents). Today they build together the foundation of
their marriage upon the earth, in the presence of the sacred fire and the
radiant sun, among their family and friends.
6. Bride and groom are seated facing one another under the mandap. Chorus
sings the slokas:
o Invocation to Lord Ganesha: Vignesh varaia varadaia sukhapriyaya...
o Invocation to Saraswati: Yakundendutusharahara dhawala...
o Prayer for harmony: Om sahana vavatu...
7. Bride garlands groom. Groom garlands bride.
8. Reading #1.
9. Bride's parents wash bride's and groom's hands and feet, apply kumkum and
give flowers. (Bride's mother does this to bride, bride's father to groom.)
10. Bride's parents address audience:
I, (name), son/daughter of (grandparents' names), approve the wedding of my
daughter, (bride's name), to (groom's name).
11. Groom says:
I, (groom's name), take you, (bride's name), into my heart as my wife.
Bride says:
I, (bride's name), take you, (groom's name), into my heart as my husband.
12. Priest says:
A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the universe. It is a
symbol of holiness and of perfection and of peace. In these rings it is the
symbol of unity, in which your lives are now joined in one unbroken circle, in
which, wherever you go, you will always return to one another and to your
togetherness.
Bride and groom exchange rings.
13. Priest puts varamala (sacred rope) around bride's and groom's necks.
They're now married!
14. The couple, who had been sitting facing one another, now sit down side by
side. Bride's father puts bride's hand in groom's.
15. Song or musical performance. (Traditionally this is the time to sing a
mangalashtak, a poem composed specially for the occasion.)
16. Bride cups her hands and places them in groom's cupped hands. Bride's
brother puts rice in bride's hands. Together bride and groom pour the mixture
into the fire.
17. Bride and groom walk around the fire four times, alternating in who leads.
Priest says:
Om Svaha! With the first turn, we pray for happiness in the union of the
couple.
Om Svaha! With the second turn, we pray for the long life of the couple.
Om Svaha! With the third turn, we pray for the healthy life of the couple.
Om Svaha! With the fourth turn, we pray for the happiness and health of the
couple.
18. The bride and groom sit down. (Here's a fun part: whoever sits down first
will be the boss in the marriage!) Groom presents a gift to the bride's
brother.
19. Priest says:
Now is the time to confirm the marriage with the seven final steps.
Bride and groom rise and prepare to take seven steps. Priest continues:
I ask you, (bride) and (groom), to concentrate upon these seven vows as you
take the seven steps:
May the couple be blessed with an abundance of food.
May the couple be strong and complement one another.
May the couple be blessed with prosperity.
May the couple be eternally happy.
May the couple be blessed with children. Idea: one "blended family" we know of
changed this to "May the couple be blessed with obedient children."
May the couple live in perfect harmony.
May (bride) and (groom) always be the best of friends.
20. Optional step to shock the traditional Hindus: bride and groom steal a
kiss!
21. Bride and groom feed each other sweets four times. Bride's mother gives
groom a gift. Groom's mother comes to the mandap and puts the mangalsutra
necklace around the bride's neck.
22. Reading #2.
23. Chorus sings the sloka:
Blessing for Everlasting Love: Advaitam...
...as bride and groom bow to all their seniors in both parties in rough order
according to age (eldest first).
24. Adjourn to refreshments and photo ops. Mob scene ensues!
Source:
WeddingMinisters.com |
